Dreaming of Private Places for Private Things

It seems these days that my writer's block has extended beyond my PhD and into the world of blogging. I have been so inside my own head lately, unable to put pen to paper or even articulate how I am feeling. Anyone who knows me would find this hard to fathom, and I am not sure what is bringing it on. Perhaps it is a failure to disseminate for myself what I am actually thinking. Maybe it is just because everything is so jumbled saying it aloud would just seem confused and unstable. Most of the time I have emotions instead of thoughts, a feeling (good or bad) without any understanding of what it means.

Whatever the cause, the most recent result is that I've been plagued by strange and recurrent dreams which point again to the conclusion that I am suppressing something somewhere (or that I ate too much cheese before I went to bed). Over and over again I dream of trying desperately to find somewhere private in which to do something I am ashamed of people seeing me do, but feel desperate to do anyway. It is always the same things: sex (usually with a woman), masturbation, or going to the bathroom - a gamut which has left me even more confused over the dreams' contents. The majority of the dream is taken up by a frantic search for a private location. I always get caught in the act because of a faulty door/lock, but I usually continue with the activity in spite of my embarassment because the compulsion to carry out the act is so strong. I wake up feeling drained and unsatisfied, feelings which sometimes linger for hours at a time. I have had dreams with a similar theme occasionally for a couple of years now, but they are more intense and frequent than ever before. Coupled with my failure to communicate in any way, I feel as though I might explode.

That is not to say that I am unhappy - I have been feeling fairly cheerful these days. There just seems to be something looming, something I can't put my finger on, and it has left me jumbled. I suppose there is also the distinct possibility that I am making excuses for not getting work on my PhD finished in a timely fashion by extending the problem to my personal life. I love a good excuse for procrastination! I think there is more to it than that, though. And while my husband thinks my dreams are simply the products of an overactive sex drive, I think there is more to those as well. Any dream analysts out there? My emotional block might well be a cry for spiritual guidance, but for now I would settle for feeling clear-headed enough to write a draft of my lit review.