Blog about a Blog

Are you a complete loser when you start blogging about blogging? I feel like a dork when I even use the word 'blog.' So my personal response to the above question would be yes. But I am going to do it anyway.

I started writing this as a way to be completely honest with myself. To write how I am feeling and what is going on in my life in a totally uncensored way. Anonymity promised that no one I know would be able to hold anything against me. In theory, the anonymous nature of things would also mean I could easily dismiss any negative feedback from other bloggers. I had started writing it just for me, but that in itself was, I suppose, dishonest. I have never been a great judge of myself. I always need feedback and information from other people. The point of keeping an electronic record of my days was supposed to be personal reflection - but once again I find myself seeking other people's approval and answers. This is particularly discouraging considering that I have only two readers - and one of them is my sister (there goes the anonymity).

As a result I find myself trying to make my blogs more readable. My dashboard is filled with entries I have started and never finished because I could not get them quite right. It is ridiculous, really, considering that the only blogs I like to read are the one which seem true to life and non-formulaic. Once again I am chasing the image of how I want to be seen instead of being myself. I do that enough in the real world, I needed this space to be free of pretenses and prejudices.

That is not to say that the blogs I have posted are dishonest - they are not in the slightest. In fact sometimes I have to stop myself from deleting some of them because the thought of them being 'out there' for other people to read and critique is too much for me. My censorship comes in when thinking about the blogs I don't write. If I threw caution to the wind, didn't worry about what I could make sound eloquent or witty, I would probably write two posts a day. I would fill page after page with the odd notions running through my mind minute after minute. I would talk about politics and religion, but I would also talk about migraines and avoiding sex because you are having a particularly bad weak-bladder day. I would comment on more than just one of the many blogs I read loyally - even if it makes me feel like a weird, stalker-type character. After all, y'all wouldn't put them up if you didn't want people to read them, right?

So here I go, back to the 'warts and all' blog I had always intended to write. You may not like it. Hell, I may not like it. But at least it will be honest. I will, however, accept the part of my personality that for now requires some feedback, and try to pro-actively get more readers. I will also need to place a great deal of trust in my sister, that she will continue to keep mum about anything she reads here and still love me when she knows what I am actually like.

To help me with my new blogger persona, I am also going to need to learn some blogging etiquette (the constant use of this word is actually causing me to laugh out loud now). Does anyone have any pointers? For example - at what point do you add someone to your blogroll? Do you ask permission? Should you introduce yourself in your first comments on a blog? Do you reply to comments? How did everyone learn how to behave appropriately? Any help would be appreciated.

Brace yourselves, this could get ugly (or just plain boring)!